The Wedding Present Cup: Stage 1, Group 16

              

Group 16

• Jumper Clown
• Flying Saucer
• Dare
• Not From Where I'm Standing 
• Getting Nowhere Fast
• Pleasant Valley Sunday
• Niagara
• Take Me!
• Model, Actress, Whatever...
• Stop Thief
• England
• Our Lips Are Sealed 
• Shake It
• American Tan
• Cumberland Gap

The Results

In my summary of the statistics from the first stage (which I will post shortly after this), one of the measures I will include is the highest total scores. Of course, this is highly dependent on the overall quality of songs in each group. This is worth mentioning here, as 'Take Me!', 'Flying Saucer', 'Dare' and 'Niagara' formed a very strong top four that was streets ahead of the rest - and being pitted against each other undoubtedly meant that their scores were not as high as they might have been in different company. I shall reserve most of the the judges' comments on these songs for future rounds, only noting that Kirk - ever the outlier - declared himself to be 'bored' by 'Take Me!' and that Gav M also gave it zero.

As for the cover versions... There were five of them here, and they had mixed fortunes. There was a lot of positive regard for TWP's version of Girls At Our Best!'s 1980 debut single, 'Getting Nowhere Fast'. 'An outstanding cover,' reckoned Harry, and even Ian - who, on principle, has given a zero to 90% of the covers that have featured so far - awarded it six marks 'because TWP made this their own tune.' Their take on The Monkees' 'Pleasant Valley Sunday' was also generally well received. 'Replaces the Californian sunshine pop sound of the Monkees with something rawer,' commented Keg, 'but the approach works.' Enough for it to qualify with 11 marks to spare.

The other three did not do so well. In my estimation, 'Our Lips Are Sealed' was far better than the other covers TWP recorded for Huw Stephens. Bob was very keen on it: 'a cracking cover of an ace song.' 'A sprightly romp,' reckoned Keg, '...good fun.' Others were less impressed: 'bland, pointless' (Johnny); 'the very definition of perfunctory' (Harry); 'run of the mill' (John). Kirk was particularly disparaging: ' and they should have stayed sealed.' 'Cumberland Gap' was even less popular ('plain annoying,' thought Gricey), with several judges commenting that by far the best part was hearing John Peel's voice at the end of the video below.

For the benefit of those readers that have never been members of the Scopitones (now Something and Nothing) forum, 'Jumper Clown' has for many years been a subject of (albeit generally light-hearted) controversy. Originally a Fall instrumental that never got a studio recording, it was recycled by Marc Riley to tell the tale of his 1982 altercation with MES in a Sydney nightclub. Although many forum members think it's rubbish, it also has a vocal and passionate band of advocates. Chief amongst them is Keg, who even has his own Jumper Clown t-shirt. (He would probably like me to point out that these days he is two stone lighter than he was in the photo!) Alas for Keg, his ten points made up nearly half of the song's final total.

'Stop Thief' was praised by Kirk ('quirky little track that Charlie elevates with some smart drumming'); James thought it had 'a bit of welly, especially live.' Overall, though, it was generally dismissed as forgettable. 'I struggled to remember how this sounded beforehand and I'm struggling to remember how it sounds afterwards,' commented Harry; 'boring and half-arsed,' was Gav F's view. Johnny enjoyed b-side 'American Tan' ('ninety-four seconds of absolute joy'), but several of the panel were irritated by the constant feedback in the background. Both were a long way off the pace.

'Shake It' has come in for a lot of stick over the years, but although it inevitably finished a long way off qualification, the judges weren't actually that harsh on the track. Gav F professed a 'soft spot' for it, Johnny thought it 'a satisying clatter' and Gricey found it to be 'harmless entertainment. Harry had this to say:

'If I'm in a good mood and the sun is shining I could tolerate this; sadly, it's been raining for the past 9 months in Glasgow.'

Like the rest of the Home Internationals tracks, 'England' divided opinion. Kirk considered it 'a magnificent piece of music and Simon Armitage’s words fit perfectly.' Johnny agreed that it was, 'musically... gorgeous,' but - even though he's a big poetry fan - thought that Simon Armitage's 'studied Yorkshireness grates.' Keg described it as 'not too bad,' but went on to say that 'it sounds like a backing track in search of vocals.' Harry was not troubled by any mixed feelings: 'Deservedly finishes bottom of the home internationals group.' In fact, it did outscore 'Northern Ireland' but still failed to make it through.

'Model, Actress, Whatever...' became only the fifth El Rey track to qualify. Virtually all of the criticism directed at the song was related to the lyric, the 'jpeg' line in particular provoking a negative reaction. 'How long,' wondered Joanna, 'before an AI reference?' Keg went as far as to describe the song as 'voyeuristic and sleazy.' Also making it through to the second stage was early b-side 'Not From Where I'm Standing'. Keg praised this 'bittersweet tale... driven by manic buzzsaw guitarwork,' and Bob singled out the 'cracking hyperspeed guitar playing near the end.' Johnny, however, felt that the 'thin, weedy guitars don’t do justice to a great lyric.'

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